The New Media Diva

It’s funny how you what you need to hear comes when you need it and from unexpected places.

It’s embarrassing to say this, but I’m not familiar with Seth Godin or his work. I subscribed to get his blog posts a few weeks ago, but only opened a few of the emails. His latest caught my attention:

The choice: You can dissipate your gift by making the people with the loudest requests temporarily happy, or you can change the world by saying ‘no’ often.

You can say no with respect, you can say no promptly and you can say no with a lead to someone who might say yes. But just saying yes because you can’t bear the short-term pain of saying no is not going to help you do the work (emphasis mine).

I have a bad habit of saying ‘yes’ for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. I also have a bad habit of feeling bad about charging for my time. The funny thing about the latter issue is that the folks who have howled the most when I’ve asked, “What’s in it for me” have hailed from the upper portions of society with money, time and fringe benefits to spare. They’ve also been the ones to complain the most when I’ve said ‘no.’

A prime example of this when an assistant for someone running for a major public office phoned me to do a voiceover for the candidate. We met for dinner. When I told the person my rates, the person said, “I can’t believe you’d actually charge for this! This should be an honor for you. You should do this to help the community.”

(Note: Nothing p—-s me off more than when someone plays the race card to try and get one over on me.)

I then said, “So, I take it you’re working for free, right?”

The person didn’t answer me.

And for one tiny moment, I almost relented. Almost.

In any case, I’ve been finding myself sliding back into my ‘yes’ pattern sometimes, not because I really want to say ‘yes,’ but because it hurts to say ‘no’…and wearing myself out.

It’s time to stop that.